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In game humor 
Author Message
Quote:
The commanding secretive male human delivers a painful blow to your hand!
You execute Water Cuts Through Earth at the commanding secretive male human!
The commanding secretive male human stares in stunned silence at the fatal
wound left by the flash of your blade.
As the commanding secretive male human hovers on the verge of death, you strike
forward with your gigantic steel broadsword. The commanding secretive male
human's head rolls backwards off his neck in response, which hits the ground a
moment before the rest of his body.
The commanding secretive male human died.
You killed the commanding secretive male human.
You feel calm again.
You arms feel relieved as you unwield the sword.


too late man, too late ... but I felt calm and relieved after we settled this


31 Dec 2015 10:38
You attack the jailer
Close door
Ok.
(fight text)
(hp drops to terrible hurt)
Your legs run away with you
You run into the wall oomf
You run into the wall oomf
You kill the jailer.


03 Jan 2016 14:42
Rising Hero

Joined: 06 Jul 2011 22:24
Posts: 339
> l
Welcome to the Sparkle Adventurer Guild.

Soft shadows flicker along the walls in the wavering light of four blazing
torches, one in each corner of the room. Ornate wall sconces carved to look like
dragon claws hold each torch firmly in place. A number of trophies adorn the
walls which have been brought back to the guild hall by bold adventurers. An age-
worn hardwood floor is mostly covered by a soft plush carpet where many
adventurers often sit down and relax. A creaky stairway leads up through a
ceiling in one corner of the room.

Here an adventurer may advance their skills or set personal priorities. You can
choose to <meditate> and reset your preferences. Additionally, you can <learn>
new skills or <improve> the ones you already have. With <list guilds> you can
find out information about the guilds you are a member of.
There is one obvious exit: north.
A charity box.

Darkness engulfs the surroundings.
Someone drops an etched bronze amulet into the something.
The darkness dissipates.


29 Jan 2016 19:33
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Champion
User avatar

Joined: 04 Mar 2010 04:46
Posts: 625
Location: United Kingdom
> get chair
You get a rocking chair.
> sit on chair
You lean back on the rocking chair.
> i
You are wearing a black webcloth scarf draped over your head and looped around your neck.
Worn : a ** torque, a black webcloth scarf and a mithril and lapis lazuli anklet
Value : 16 sybarun coins and a glowing gem.
Clothes : a lustrous steel necklace, a pair of jade bangles, a golden star ring, a silver serpentine ring and a newbie helper pin.
Food : a lemon cream truffle.
Drinks : a hot sybarun kahve.
Other : a rocking chair with Kitriana sitting in it, a waterskin, a black wooden paddle, a lapidarium, an ancient storybook, a plain brass pin, a small paper certificate, a small leather purse (open), a magic map, a palm-sized enchiridion, a fine Minstrel's viol and Minstrel's songbook.
> put chair
You put a rocking chair with Kitriana sitting in it.


---Not really sure how I sit on a chair that I am holding... nor do I get how it remains in my inventory while I'm sitting on it...

_________________
If something I wrote sounds confusing ... assume you misunderstood it.


04 Feb 2016 22:17
Profile
Rising Hero

Joined: 06 Jul 2011 22:24
Posts: 339
A story of a fearless necromancer. Edited for reading purposes.

Code:
You turn to attack the foul massive orc.
The foul massive orc rushes you with fists swinging, and beats you hard.
A zyx zyx female elf arrives from the northwest.
> l
 The southern border of Kryptgarden Forest. It is early morning and the sun is
rising in the east. It peeks over the horizon, bathing the sky in streaks of red,
 pink, magenta, and orange. The forest is full of ancient trees. Their tops soar
overhead, blocking much of the light. There are thin bushes growing beneath the
trees. Some look trampled, probably by some of the many creatures who live here.
The trees thin to the south.
There are three obvious exits: east, northeast and northwest.
A corpse of a savage dirty orc and a broken pair of sturdy black bracers.
A zyx zyx  female elf and a foul massive orc.
You are in combat with the foul massive orc.
>csw elf
You are much stronger than the zyx zyx female elf.
You are much more agile than the zyx zyx female elf.
You are much healthier than the zyx zyx female elf.
You are much smarter than the zyx zyx female elf.
You are much wiser than the zyx zyx female elf.
You are much braver than the zyx zyx female elf.
> poke elf
You poke the zyx zyx female elf in the ribs.
You say: Youre bit small for the orcs.
You say: I am not really fighint them
You say: just doing some tests
You say: you may join if you like
You say: but fight will be erratic

You invite a zyx zyx female elf to join your team.
You killed the foul massive orc.
The zyx zyx female elf sings: What kind of tests?
You shrug helplessly.
You say: secret

You introduce yourself to a zyx zyx female elf.
The zyx zyx female elf introduces herself as:
 XYZ the Fairly Limited Hireling and Free Agent of the Mercenary Guild and
Student of Vile Darkness, apprentice, female elf.
XYZ joins your team.
XYZ sings: sure
XYZ sings: wait
XYZ sings: I may have looted some things but I'll leave them
XYZ drops [many things]
You say: you will not be able to assist and will not be attacked
You say: probably

> e
> w
> ne
 Near the southern border of Kryptgarden Forest. It is early morning and the sun
is rising in the east. It peeks over the horizon, bathing the sky in streaks of
red, pink, magenta, and orange. Rotting logs lay scattered across the ground.
They are buried by fallen branches and rotting leaves. Mosses and fungi grow on
the logs. They are shaded by the forest's trees.
There are four obvious exits: northeast, northwest, southeast and southwest.
A testy massive orc and a rabid big orc.
XYZ arrives from the southwest.
XYZ sings: Ok
The testy massive orc attacks XYZ.
The rabid big orc attacks XYZ.
> k
kill orc
You attack the testy massive orc.
XYZ sings: Death means nothing to me, fool!
XYZ throws her head back and cackles with glee!
XYZ died.
The testy massive orc killed her.
XYZ removes her black leather jacket, looking decidedly less cool.
>ha
You are physically feeling well and mentally in full vigour.
Ghost of XYZ is barely alive.
The testy massive orc is feeling very well.
The rabid big orc is feeling very well.


It was like one second between 'Death means nothing to me' and her death.
There is also a question: do orcs just hate all elves or the Necromancer was a 'good' one?


14 Feb 2016 00:47
Profile
Adept

Joined: 27 Jan 2016 18:42
Posts: 127
I guess is funny for you, but Syrk looks decidedly less cool after reading this.

_________________
Somebody send this to me when I start:

Genesis Start Guide


14 Feb 2016 05:36
Profile WWW
Myth

Joined: 06 Mar 2012 00:14
Posts: 1671
Sykil wrote:
I guess is funny for you, but Syrk looks decidedly less cool after reading this.



Syrk was cool?


14 Feb 2016 12:53
Profile
Syrk wrote:
It was like one second between 'Death means nothing to me' and her death.
There is also a question: do orcs just hate all elves or the Necromancer was a 'good' one?


you didn't die as necromancer yet?


14 Feb 2016 19:23
Rising Hero

Joined: 06 Jul 2011 22:24
Posts: 339
I did but it happens so often that i do not bother checking logs afterwards.
It was first time me witnessing other Necromancer die.


14 Feb 2016 20:30
Profile
Beginner

Joined: 11 Jan 2016 12:51
Posts: 23
Quote:
> companion
You quickly dig through your pockets and find coins equal to 150 copper coins.
The young lady in the couch accepts your payment and smiles. She walks towards you and grabs your hand firmly, leading you towards the stair to the second floor.
>
You follow her into her room.
You are in a nice room, with a thick red carpet, mirrors everywhere, and a huge comfortable bed in the middle of the floor.
There is one obvious exit: out.
A beautiful young lady.
She begins to remove her clothes. Slowly.
YES!
You think you are dreaming... You havn't experienced anything like it before.
Oh.... yes.... more... lower... right there...
Yes! yes! YES!!! oh... don't stop!!! please... oh... OH... OH!!!
That felt really good! You kiss the lady good bye and walk down the stairs to the entrance, feeling extremly satisfied.
This is the entrance to the local so-called escort service, which in fact is nothing but a whore-house. There is a small sign on the southern wall stating how to use the services of the house. Some stairs leads up to the second floor.
There is one obvious exit: north.
A fanatic male moralist and a male goblin.
A beautiful young lady arrives.
The beautiful young lady smiles happily at you.
The fanatic male moralist says: That was certainly fast...
The fanatic male moralist disagrees totally.


How moral!


20 Mar 2016 08:55
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