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Hello all!
I wanted to let you know that the families of Kendermore
are taking up a collection for one of the most unfortunate
cases we have ever encountered! You see, Pube-Beard the
Pirate, also known as the former Gully Dwarf Coark, needs
your donation! It is a sad sad story and I wish you to
hear his unfortunate tale.
Poor Pube-Beard is SOOOO dumb that even the gully dwarves
kicked him out of their ranks. Now, in rage, he lashes
out at anyone, especially the short, who in size, remind him
of the kin who banished him! He needs your help to clear his
blind rage and only through your pity can he ever be again
made whole.
I personally witnessed his mindless empty-skullheadedness
as he bounced his forehead off a brick wall screaming,
"OPEN YOU STOOOPID DOOR!"
Please, your donation can save this poor unfortunate sop
from a fate worse than being skewered alive by a dragon!
We just fear for his safety! Please leave your donations
in the box in Kendermore and we will make sure that poor,
poor Pube-Beard will get the help he so desperately needs!
Blunder, caretaker for the desperate and needy.