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Out of the East a terrible beast
Came to Sparkle Town
With evil eyes and a wingspan wide,
Its master wore a crown--

Once of men but never again
a Nazgul sat astride
The humungus beast, with evil reach,
darkness by his side.

What was needed then in this town of men
was a hero to come forth.
And who do you think roused from his drink
to champion them but a dwarf!

Brave Pacal came down to the heart of the town
and let out a mighty roar.
No fear could you find in his bloodshot eyes,
just alchohol and Reorx.

His axe he could feel so he held up his shield
And removed his leather belt;
And then like a whip, he hit with the tip,
The evil Nazgul's whelp.

With such a spanking, a fight he was making,
And Sparkle wondered aloud
What the Nazgul would do now that he knew
The dwarf was uncowed.

A horrible note came from the throat
Of the wicked king so fell.
Mighty Pacal found himself on the ground
under the weight of the spell!

But his shield was stronger and his beard was longer
Than the skeletal demon being's
His axe was sharper and his belt was thicker
Than the hissing undead king's.

He said, "I am Neidar and as you can see here
I'm not afraid of the Earth.
My dad was a miner and what you will find here
Is that I like the dirt.

Plus I am so short, you son of an Orc,
That I'm practically already on it.
Now will you defeat Lady Gu
And Reorx, you blood-drinking hobbit!"

Then Pacal arose and looked down his nose
At the quaking black-robed figure.
He raised his axe and gave such a whack
That opened quite a fissure

In the skull of king, a great bloody thing,
and that my friends was that.
The servant of Melkor was no longer welcome
and Pacal headed back

To the pub for some grub
and to drink for the day
While all Sparkle town and the Donut around
Praised his valliant display.