In game humor

[Laurel]

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This is a strange gem glowing in all rainbow colours. 
You concentrate yourself and get together all your power... You can feel
something is going on...
You're having a hard time getting it down. It's large and unexpectedly coarse,
but it's going doooooooooooooown...
Suddenly, you feel magically summoned...
The fanatic male moralist says: Why do you leave me?
*my edited start loc*
A fanatic male moralist arrives in a puff of smoke.

he did the quest and kissed his gem the same second I did?

[OgreToyBoy]

You lance through the olive-skinned Kretan sentry's body with your bloody skull club.


How much force do one need to do that?

[OgreToyBoy]

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The portly balding male human farts silently but violently.

[Laurel]

you lost your smell-sense right after?

[Laurel]

A horrible flesh-eating creature. It has thick skin
of putrid gray-green and mottled black. Its mouth lined
with cruel teeth, its hands with dagger-like claws.
Dirty and smelling of rot, its body covered with hides
and tattered clothing, its head draped by thick strands
of gray bestial hair. Its eyes black with yellow slits.
He looks pleasant.

[Zestana]

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A pale tentacle, a slimy tentacle and a slimy tentacle.
An enormous eight armed octopus.
You are in combat with the enormous eight armed octopus.
> The tentacle wraps itself even tighter around your right arm.
You are in possession of a glowing gem.
You are wearing a golden scabbard.
You wear an exorbitant webcloth purse covered with shining bloodstones.
You are wielding a xxx in your left hand and a xxx in your right hand.
You are wearing xxx.
You are carrying a light brown hawk feather, a small wooden token, a black
  wooden paddle, a new storybook, a lapidarium, a magic paper, a magic map, a
  new leather book, an annotation scroll, a translucent silk veil, a pair of
  ankle bells, a pale tentacle, a pale tentacle, a pale tentacle, a slimy  
  tentacle, a slimy tentacle, a slimy tentacle and a slimy tentacle.

An eight armed octopus having ten tentacles. What an abomination.

[Alorrana]

More amazing is.. Your wielding and wearing xxx.. whats that?

New tripple-X here. ?

[Laurel]

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A horrible pain explodes in your head. You pass out.
Gorboth steps out from the shadows.
Gorboth bounces around uncontrollably.
You fall into a condition of hallucination. Your brain seems to be glowing, and
you can see your body writhing in pain, but you cannot feel a thing. You seem
to have separated with your body!

What a coordination ... Laurel's brain surely couldn't handle the sight of a bouncing Gorby

[Alorrana]

> kill human
You attack the old Dephonian priestess.
> You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> You prepare to gore the old Dephonian priestess with your horns.
> x enemy
She is an old priestess of the Order, her wrinkled face gaunt as that of a
corpse, but with dark staring eyes alive with evil.
She is short and very fat for a human.
She looks like the image of perfection.
She is fighting you.
She seems to be feeling very well.
She is wearing a raven-crested tunic, a silver ring and a silver talisman.
> The old Dephonian priestess strikes at your body with her left fist, but your
dragon turtle shell protects you.
You try to smash the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club but
miss.
> You snarl in frustration as the old Dephonian priestess easily avoids your
regal horns.
The old Dephonian priestess lightly bruises your body with her right fist.
The old Dephonian priestess lightly bruises your legs with her left fist.
> You cover the old Dephonian priestess's right foot with your dragon turtle
shell.
You feel relaxed again.
You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Dedokamus Postestes Matera!
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your head!
Your head begins to reel in pain!
You have been poisoned!
You feel ready to gore your foes again!
You prepare to gore the old Dephonian priestess with your horns.
> You bonked the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club on the
head.
> compare stats with enemy
You are stronger than the old Dephonian priestess.
You are a bit better coordinated than the old Dephonian priestess.
You are a bit healthier than the old Dephonian priestess.
You are much smarter than the old Dephonian priestess.
You are much wiser than the old Dephonian priestess.
You are much braver than the old Dephonian priestess.
> You feel relaxed again.
You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> You thrust your regal horns deeply into the old Dephonian priestess's legs.
> The old Dephonian priestess lightly bruises your body with her left fist.
The old Dephonian priestess surrounds herself in black light.
> You skillfully hit the head of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy
steel club with great damage.
> The old Dephonian priestess lightly bruises your head with her right knee.
> You feel relaxed again.
You feel ready to gore your foes again!
You prepare to gore the old Dephonian priestess with your horns.
> The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Smite the head of thine enemies, oh
Mother!'
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your arm!
Your blood feels as if it boiling!
You have been poisoned!
health all
You are physically slightly hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is somewhat hurt.
> You feel less healthy.
You puke on your shoes.
The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Uprezia Nate Matera!'
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your chest!
Your skin feels as if it is on fire!
You have been poisoned!
> You try to smash the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club but
miss.
> You snarl in frustration as the old Dephonian priestess easily avoids your
regal horns.
The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Dedokamus Postestes Matera!
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your hand!
Your head begins to reel in pain!
You have been poisoned!
You are physically slightly hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is somewhat hurt.
> The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Lignus Nate Obsidia!'
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your leg!
You feel an intense darkness choke your heart!
You have been poisoned!
You feel relaxed again.
You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> You are physically slightly hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is somewhat hurt.
> health all
You are physically slightly hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is somewhat hurt.
> You feel ready to gore your foes again!
You feel less healthy.
You prepare to gore the old Dephonian priestess with your horns.
You try to smash the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club but
miss.
You are physically somewhat hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is somewhat hurt.
> You shiver from the cold.
You cover the old Dephonian priestess's right knee with your dragon turtle
shell.
You viciously whip your regal horns across the old Dephonian priestess's left
wemote snarls like a wild beast as blood splatters her face from the cuts on her foe.
arm, tearing a nasty wound.
You are physically somewhat hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is hurt.
> The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Lignus Nate Obsidia!'
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your head!
You feel an intense pain throughout your body!
You have been poisoned!
The old Dephonian priestess howls: the Talisman is powerless in the hands of an
infidel!
> You feel relaxed again.
You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> You cover quickly your mouth and cough into your dragon turtle shell.
The old Dephonian priestess lightly bruises your left arm with her right fist.
The old Dephonian priestess lightly bruises your body with her left elbow.
The old Dephonian priestess strikes at your legs with her left knee, but your
unusual pair of light elven greaves protects you.
You skillfully hit the head of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy
steel club with great damage.
> You feel ready to gore your foes again!
You prepare to gore the old Dephonian priestess with your horns.
> You graze the body of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club.
You cover the old Dephonian priestess's left fist with your dragon turtle
shell.
> Cough, cough, cough, hark !!!
Hitting your back with your heavy steel club doesn't help much.
You feel less healthy.
You cover quickly your mouth and cough into your dragon turtle shell.
You feel relaxed again.
You start to moan.
You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Uprezia Nate Matera!'
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your head!
Your head begins to reel in pain!
You have been poisoned!
health all
You are physically somewhat hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is very hurt.
> Cough, cough, cough, hark !!!
Hitting your back with your heavy steel club doesn't help much.
You skillfully hit the head of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy
steel club with great damage.
> The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Behold the power of the Light of
Darkness!'
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your leg!
Your skin feels as if it is on fire!
You have been poisoned!
You charge past the old Dephonian priestess, just missing her with your regal
horns.
> You feel less healthy.
Cough, cough, cough, hark !!!
Hitting your back with your heavy steel club doesn't help much.
The old Dephonian priestess lightly bruises your right arm with her right fist.
> You feel relaxed again.
You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> You hurt the body of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club,
rather bad.
The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Uprezia Nate Matera!'
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your leg!
Your blood feels as if it boiling!
You have been poisoned!
health all
You are physically hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is in a very bad shape.
> You shiver from the cold.
You feel ready to gore your foes again!
You prepare to gore the old Dephonian priestess with your horns.
You smashed the head of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel
wemote grins wickedly, knowing her smash hurt !
club with powerful swing.
> You feel relaxed again.
You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> You shiver from the cold.
You puke on your shoes.
You impale the old Dephonian priestess's right arm with your regal horns,
> You puke on your shoes.
You shiver from the cold.
You smashed the head of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club,
nearly turning her into a pulp.
> health all
You are physically hurt and mentally in full vigour.
The old Dephonian priestess is at death's door.
> You shiver from the cold.
You tickle the right arm of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel
club.
> You feel relaxed again.
You prepare to smash the old Dephonian priestess.
> You start to moan.
You hurt the body of the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club,
very bad.
You feel calm again.
You feel ready to gore your foes again!
The old Dephonian priestess chants 'Uprezia Nate Matera!'
The old Dephonian priestess raises her hand and a beam of black light strikes
your arm!
You feel an intense pain throughout your body!
You have been poisoned!
You prepare to gore the old Dephonian priestess with your horns.
> You smashed the old Dephonian priestess with your heavy steel club to a pulp!
ha
The old Dephonian priestess died.
You killed the old Dephonian priestess.

Woot Woot I got her, I have Ursus Con and Im a Bad ass cow..

10-15 mins later....... COME WITH ME MORTAL COW !!! *LOL* anyways kids, Dont play with this hag

[Laurel]

10-15 mins later....... COME WITH ME MORTAL COW !!! *LOL* anyways kids, Dont play with this hag

that is a lesson quite a few learned the hard way ... I remember a guy named Quark sharing it with me ca. 10 years ago