Of Kings and Thanes
Posted: 19 Jan 2016 02:13
Code: Select all
___________________________________________________________________
| |
| o o |
| o Of |
| o o /.\ o o |
| \_|_\:/_|_/ Kings |
| |<>|<%>|<>| & |
| |---------| Thanes |
| |
| |
| Greetings, reader of this board. Today a dwarven scavenger |
| band... No, it should be said dwarf-led, for in truth, the two |
| minotaurs alone outnumbered dwarf, not to mention the ogre and |
| half-breed. Today this band stole from the King of the Lands of |
| Free Men, laid hand on him, and spat such words of hate I will |
| not repeat myself, but I will say that were this dwarf stripped |
| naked, bent over, hog-tied, and left in heat (as I assume dwarves |
| go into from time to time) with a pen of large, well-endowed, and |
| filth-encrusted dogs, kinder words than bitch could have |
| described his plight than what he himself hurled ignobly at the |
| King. But enough of these unpleasantries. |
| |
| Who were these ruffians, these scavengers, you ask? |
| |
| Irk, thane (sp?) of the Neidar, the dwarf |
| Jar, his beloved minotaur friend and slave fighter |
| Valandil, another warm minotaur slave friend |
| Kvator, a half-bred Solamnian warrior and mummer |
| Carlof, an ogre and another close friend of the dwarf |
| |
| Why was the Neidar dwarf thane teamed with minotaurs and ogres |
| you ask? You have many sharp questions, patient reader, but give |
| me time. The first three on this list were tracked down swiftly |
| and put to death. It could be said the fight was an epic running |
| battle from the deepest depths of Avenir to the highest peaks of |
| Terel, across the frozen north, and finally to the icy piers |
| where a last ditch effort for flight was made... but it wasn't. |
| The thane and his minotaur friends were rounded up and executed |
| in a pit of bones and refuse with no relatives showing to bid |
| final farewells or ministrate upon the bodies. The thane's uncle |
| did mention in his RSVP letter (it was a no) that there was only |
| one thing a bovine was good for, and... I won't repeat that |
| either, but if you were wondering, reader, it wasn't milking... |
| at least not in the conventional sense. Hmm, I see old age leaves |
| me prone to distraction. Yes, the three were executed, and that |
| was that. |
| |
| But wait, how were they "rounded up" as you put it? I've heard |
| minotaurs especially can really buck and gore. |
| Mm hmm, yess, it is true what you've heard, but both of these |
| minotaurs were docile. In fact they were so docile when we came |
| for them as they mindlessly slew elves and foremen, that it took |
| Valandil twenty minutes after his execution to see he had even |
| been executed and select a new body. Jar was just as docile. |
| Fortunately, Irk was able to Command their assistance and comply. |
| |
| But isn't that against the rules of this world??? |
| Well, my young naive reader, of course it is, but no one does |
| anything about it. |
| |
| The half-breed also paid a price, but mummer's are an honour |
| sworn lot, and you'll have to ask him yourself if you desire |
| details. Or rather is it Solamnians are the honour sworn ones? |
| Yes, that's likely the case. Regardless, there are no more |
| details for you here, although I will say I've always wanted to |
| see a Solamnian make a balloon animal from his own intestines... |
| or a Mummer I meant to say, yess. |
| |
| What of the ogre, you query? I'm getting to him. Patience. In |
| fact his time is nearly come. Short is the window for amends and |
| shorter still the attention of an ogre. Still, every story has |
| its ending. |
| |
| In Service to the Eye, |
| |
| Hail Melkor! |
| |
| o o |
|___________________________________________________________________|