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Mortal help for a wizard. 
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Wizard

Joined: 15 Sep 2016 18:54
Posts: 5
Welcome mortals !

I am new to all this stuff and I thought I could ask you for little help.
I am working about new area, mines taken from the people and occupied by the race of Hey-kins. Unfortunately I got little stuck on
most unexpected thing : descriptions. So here we are !
I want to ask for your help with few liners :
(I am not native speaker and just discovered that I don't have any idea about mining/mines etc. to use correct vocabulary)

1. Main tunnel.
I would ask you for description of main tunnel , wide, high. Side tunnels are the mining ones.

2. Sounds/actions that could be added. (water dripping/bats fly by/rats passing)

3. Side tunnel.
Smaller then main one, used for mining, little darker, more claustrophobic.

4. As above, sounds/actions of side tunnel.

5. Descriptions of Hey-kins.
Hey-Kins are the race of dwarf-like-dwellers and there are few kinds of them :
a/ Hej-kin sparkers - little electrical sparks moves on the Hey-kin skin.
b/ Hej-kin chanters - with lips moving constantly, prayer-like.
c/ Hej-kin raven - much darker skin, almost black.

Image
Image

As summary :
There is NO reward for your help expect for my ethernal thanks ;)
If you have any questions, ask here, will do my best to answer them.


17 Sep 2016 18:06
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Myth

Joined: 06 Mar 2012 00:14
Posts: 1679
What the hell are Hey-kins? :P Got a lore link or something so we know more about them as to make something?


17 Sep 2016 20:01
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Wizard

Joined: 15 Sep 2016 18:54
Posts: 5
Draugor wrote:
What the hell are Hey-kins? :P Got a lore link or something so we know more about them as to make something?


Code:
Description

Hej-kin are a race of degenerate humanoids that spend their entire lives underground, dwelling in the Athasian underdark near suitable supplies of water. They are omnivores and subsist largely on a diet of small subterranean creatures and plants. Hej-kin are malevolent creatures that enjoy inflicting pain and fear on those who trespass on their caverns, blaming them for the damage that has been inflicted on the earth by the defilers.

Hej-kin language is a combination of sign and verbal communication, and their voices are low-pitched, resembling human mumbling. Few surface dwellers are able to learn the language. The color of their skin varies from red to light green, but their skin is always thick and very tough. Hej-kin live on average for 40 or 45 years.
Hej-Kin Society

Hej-kin do not create artificial tunnels or caves, as they consider the earth to be sacred. They will only occupy naturally-occurring subterranean formations, but they mark these as their property with curious runes on the cave walls.

Hej-kin clans are often led by earth clerics and preservers. Clerics rise highest in hej-kin society and are the only hej-kin who travel to the surface, usually investigating a disturbance that threatens the earth. Hejkin are never defilers.

Hej-kin are natural enemies to most other surface dwelling and subterranean races, due to the abuse and destruction of the earth perpetrated by these others. Hejkin clans will migrate to a new area every decade in order to avoid over-using the land on which they dwell.
Hej-Kin as Characters

Vicious and cowardly, most hej-kin prefer classes that augment their natural tendencies. A hej-kin‘s favored class is rogue.


Hope thats good enough.


17 Sep 2016 22:19
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Rising Hero
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Joined: 29 Feb 2016 19:51
Posts: 318
Location: Everywhere
Oh!
I'd love to help out with this!

I'll need some time to think about it, though..

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Chillin
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Click here to become a pupil of my Brute! It's really cool, I swear.


18 Sep 2016 00:59
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Rising Hero
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Joined: 29 Feb 2016 19:51
Posts: 318
Location: Everywhere
anansi wrote:
1. Main tunnel.
I would ask you for description of main tunnel , wide, high. Side tunnels are the mining ones.
2. Sounds/actions that could be added. (water dripping/bats fly by/rats passing)
3. Side tunnel.
Smaller then main one, used for mining, little darker, more claustrophobic.
4. As above, sounds/actions of side tunnel.
5. Descriptions of Hey-kins.
Hey-Kins are the race of dwarf-like-dwellers and there are few kinds of them :
a/ Hej-kin sparkers - little electrical sparks moves on the Hey-kin skin.
b/ Hej-kin chanters - with lips moving constantly, prayer-like.
c/ Hej-kin raven - much darker skin, almost black.

Okay, here's what I've thought of so far..
1.
Code:
You enter a large, wide tunnel. The ceiling is far above you. Despite its dimensions, it appears natural. Curious Runes cover the walls around you. A faint light emanates from peculiar lichens that trail across the floor. There are several smaller tunnels branching from this one.
(If the main tunnel goes deeper, then next room could be as follows) :
Code:
You go deeper into the large tunnel. The light from the plants is dimmer here, but still enough to see by. You can hear water trickling faintly in the distance. The walls here have even more of the strange runes than before. There are still no signs that the tunnel was hewn by mortal hands. More side tunnels can be seen from here.
Of course, if you want the player to have to carry a torch, then you can take out the glowing lichen or make it too dim to see by. I just thought it was a nice touch.

2.
Code:
A small bat flaps past your head.
An creature shrieks in the distance, then is quiet.
Water drips from the ceiling.
A frightened rat scurries quickly past your feet.
A small, icy breeze drifts over your skin.
Shadows seem to shift around you, but it must be your imagination.


3.
Code:
You enter a smaller tunnel. This is even less inviting than the previous tunnel. The walls are close and the ceiling is not much farther. Tools are lying near exposed veins of metal. Runes, similar to the ones in the large tunnel are carved into the walls by the mining sites. Buckets filled with raw, unrefined ore are scattered around the floor. This tunnel does not feel safe at all.
(I'm not sure I like how the line about the buckets feels.. I was going to say "are lined near the walls," but it didn't feel right.. Maybe someone else could help?)

4.
Code:
Pebbles fall from one of the mining spots.
A rat runs across the floor and cowers in a crevice.
Water drips slowly, filling a puddle in the floor.
One of the ore buckets shifts, causing a rat to flee from it.
A bat, hanging from the ceiling, watches you silently.
A small Hej-kin inspects the buckets of ore, oblivious to your presence.


5.
Had some ideas, but haven't settled on specifics yet..
I'll have to go find a Dark Sun Monstrous Manuel and do some double checking. :P

Anyway, hope you like my ideas!

_________________
Chillin
[-_- ]
Click here to become a pupil of my Brute! It's really cool, I swear.


22 Sep 2016 01:27
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Wizard
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Joined: 22 Sep 2014 13:15
Posts: 458
Nice one Melarec!

One thing that will also be needed is descriptions of "items" in the room description. If someone examines "ceiling", or "tunnel", or "peculiar lichens" / "lichens", what would they see? If those aren't defined, all you end up getting in response is "examine what?"

Add those descriptions, and you've pretty much created the meat and potatoes of a room :).


22 Sep 2016 09:03
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Wizard

Joined: 15 Sep 2016 18:54
Posts: 5
Yes, Melarec, thats wonderful. Thank you !


23 Sep 2016 16:35
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Rising Hero
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Joined: 29 Feb 2016 19:51
Posts: 318
Location: Everywhere
anansi wrote:
Yes, Melarec, thats wonderful. Thank you !
Yay! Thank you!
Arman wrote:
Nice one Melarec!
One thing that will also be needed is descriptions of "items" in the room description. If someone examines "ceiling", or "tunnel", or "peculiar lichens" / "lichens", what would they see? If those aren't defined, all you end up getting in response is "examine what?"
Add those descriptions, and you've pretty much created the meat and potatoes of a room :).
Yes, I was thinking about that as I wrote the room descriptions. Now that you've brought it up:

Main Tunnel
Code:
<exa ceiling>
The ceiling is rather high for a natural cave. Stalactites hang from above, some nearly
reaching the floor. More of the luminous lichen is twisted among the stalactites.

<exa stalactites>
These pillars of rock hang from the ceiling. Some of them are dripping water. It seems
the lichen is drawn to them, forming natural chandeliers.

<exa [peculiar] lichen>
Mossy vines creep along the floor and twist around the ceiling. Oddly, they are glowing,
offering light in the otherwise dark confines of the cave. Some of the vines seem to have
curled around the stalactites hanging from the ceiling.

<exa runes>
The meaning of the strange carvings on the walls eludes you. They are certainly not natural
and look to have been carved with claws or rudimentary tools.

<exa water>
Drops of water occasionally drip from the ceiling. Some places have formed small puddles.

<exa puddles>
Careful! Don't get your feet wet!

<exa breeze / wind>
The small motion of the air barely warrants the name "breeze," but it still chills you to the bone.

<exa shadows>
The shadows aren't moving. Your mind is playing tricks on you.

<exa smell>
It smells as any other cave: damp, stuffy, cold.

Side tunnel
Code:
<exa ceiling>
This ceiling is not very high. You feel cramped and confined.

<exa walls>
These walls are very close together. There is enough space, but you feel as though you can
barely move. There are veins of metal in the walls and more of those strange runes.

<exa tools>
These tools are clearly used for mining.

<exa veins / metal>
Various metals are embedded in the walls. Copper, tin, iron. It's strange seeing so many in one area.

<exa buckets>
Buckets are prevalent in this tunnel. Empty ones are stacked neatly by one wall. Others, full
of ore, are scattered around haphazardly.

<exa runes>
Strange shapes are carved in the walls. Similar to the other tunnels. Their meaning is lost to you.

<exa smell>
The scent of metal and broken rock pervades the air.

There could certainly be more, but I think I covered a lot of it..

_________________
Chillin
[-_- ]
Click here to become a pupil of my Brute! It's really cool, I swear.


23 Sep 2016 20:15
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