In game humor

[Johnny]

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                        ----- Available auctions -----
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Num   Auction Item        High Bidder  Seller      Bid(Max) Time Left           
===============================================================================
8993  obsidian            -            -           10p      11 hours 23 minutes
      silver-tipped                                (20p)    5 seconds
      spear

8994  Unavailable         -            -           7p       15 hours 23 minutes
                                                   (60p)    5 seconds

8995  Unavailable         -            -           10p      15 hours 23 minutes
                                                   (120p)   5 seconds

9000  Unavailable         -            -           15p      15 hours 23 minutes
                                                   (100p)   5 seconds

9002  *iron oil-lamp      -            -           20p      1 day 19 hours 23
                                                   (30p)    minutes 5 seconds

9006  Unavailable         -            -           5p       1 day 9 hours 23
                                                   (150p)   minutes 5 seconds

9008  crimson steel       -            -           10p      2 days 13 hours 23
      longsword                                    (20p)    minutes 5 seconds

9010  Unavailable         -            -           10p      2 days 19 hours 23
                                                   (200p)   minutes 5 seconds

[Zar]

Did You buy this unavailable? sounds cool.
"You wield unavailable."
"You hit unknown with unavailable, but unavailable protects."

[Johnny]

If it like 5 platinum I would have hehe, but I am cheap

[Laurel]

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Welcome, Laurel. Please enter your password: 
You have been linkdead for 3 days 3 hours 31 minutes 51 seconds.

[Bromen]

A sword of darkness that is a bit better than the standard
weapons that the legion of darkness wields.
It looks like it is in prime condition.
A pronounced aura of darkness surrounds this object.

finally an imbuement on an item that makes sense!

[Tarax the Terrible]

Not really funny as such. Was lost in Terel forrest (again) and spamming directions all over the place, then without realising I was already clear of the forest accidentally fired a path.
Sort of thing that can get u killed in Terel at least..

Code: Select all

A frightening haggard skeleton walks in.
Road.
There is one obvious exit: south.
Two elf corporals.
> n

There is no obvious exit north.
> w

A frightening haggard skeleton walks in.
There is no obvious exit west.
> 
> 
The elf corporal attacks you!
The elf corporal attacks you!
>
You feel calm again.
You hurt the head of the elf corporal with your heavy steel club, very bad.
The elf corporal seems to be losing senses.
The elf corporal rushes at you!
You are hit hard.
You are now hunted by two elf corporals.
Road.
There are three obvious exits: south, southeast and north.
> There is no obvious exit west.
> Road.
There is one obvious exit: south.
A frightening haggard skeleton and two elf corporals.
Two elf corporals are fighting you.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit west.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> Road.
There are three obvious exits: south, southeast and north.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> Road.
There are two obvious exits: south and north.
Two elf legion warriors and a gray ferret.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> Road.
There are three obvious exits: south, southeast and north.
> Road.
There is one obvious exit: south.
A frightening haggard skeleton and two elf corporals.
Two elf corporals are fighting you.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit west.
> There is no obvious exit west.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit west.
> There is no obvious exit west.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> Road.
There are three obvious exits: south, southeast and north.
> What?
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> Road.
There is one obvious exit: south.
A frightening haggard skeleton and two elf corporals.
Two elf corporals are fighting you.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit west.
> There is no obvious exit west.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit east.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> There is no obvious exit north.
> 
The elf corporal rushes at you!
You are unharmed.
Being prepared for you to come back, an elf corporal jabs your head with his
shortsword.
Being prepared for you to come back, an elf corporal jabs your head with his
shortsword.
Being prepared for you to come back, an elf corporal jabs your head with his
shortsword.
Being prepared for you to come back, an elf corporal jabs your head with his
shortsword.
Being prepared for you to come back, an elf corporal jabs your head with his
shortsword.
Being prepared for you to come back, an elf corporal jabs your head with his
shortsword.
You smashed the elf corporal with your heavy steel club to a pulp!
The elf corporal died.
You killed the elf corporal.
You feel calm again.
You turn to attack the elf corporal.
You massacre the elf corporal with your heavy steel club.
As the elf corporal catches you off guard and prepares for the attack, you
raise your blackened kite-shield and slam it powerfully into his body, sending
him staggering backwards.
The elf corporal collapses to the ground.
The elf corporal died.
You killed the elf corporal.

Lucky it wasn't a longer path or those pip squeeks coulda been the end of me..

Well i laughed anyway..

[Laurel]

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Your giant black maul impales Yagluk's chest and he dies with a gurgling
sound in his throat!
Yagluk died.
You killed Yagluk.
You feel calm again.
Yagluk wears the heavy steel platemail.
Yagluk wears the steel greaves.
Yagluk wears the steel gauntlets

[Zestana]

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> last bromen
Login time : Mon Jan 16 02:53:06 2012
Activity   : linkdead for 15355 d  2 h
> You see a white oblong boat from afar departing to the east.
date
Local time    : Mon Jan 16 03:08:21 2012
Start time    : Mon Jan 16 02:49:01 2012
Up time       : 19 minutes 20 seconds
Regular reboot: between 11 days 18 hours and 12 days to go.
Memory usage  : 8%

[Bromen]

It seems I hold the record for the longest link death.

Can I get a special title for being disconnected for 4.3 years?

[Zar]

It seems I hold the record for the longest link death.

Can I get a special title for being disconnected for 4.3 years?

You meant almost 43 years?
Or I am bad at math