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| Hail Melkor! |
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| Darkness alone is worshipful, and soon at the end of this age this |
| world will see it restored once more by the will of the Giver of |
| Gifts. |
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| The Giver of Gifts, Lord of All, offers you a rare opportunity to |
| serve Him eternally as part of His elite, free from the chains of |
| the living flesh and petty troubles that lies within all those |
| bound to the mortal coil. |
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| 0___/\___0 |
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| Be warned though, this rare opportunity is not for all, as |
| described below: |
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| Unfit to serve, Elves we grant the right to be served only in meal |
| form. |
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| Undoubtedly the most sickening manifestation of the perverted |
| nature of the west, hobbit-things found purpose only when His |
| servants created sacks, satchels and strings out of their wretched |
| hides. |
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| Yet another horrible caricature of being, the bearded midgets that |
| so narrowly escaped the crushing hammer of Aule are welcome to |
| submit to their destiny, and to be trampled hard under His foot. |
| Their midget cousins from distant lands will not be discriminated |
| against, but will graciously be allowed a share in this fate. |
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| Bovine imbeciles will be sent to pasture on the Lithlad. |
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| Lacklusters and useless weakminded fools are not encouraged to |
| travel to His city lest they seek an early demise. |
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| -ooOOOoo- |
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| If you still deem yourself an potential, abandon your friends and |
| murder your family. Begin your glorious pilgrimage towards the east|
| and pass the gates of His city, Minas Morgul. Then seek out the |
| public board in His city for further instructions on how to become |
| a servant of the Lord of All, the Giver of Gifts. |
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| Merka-Er. |
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